N.C. State: Spoiling Skip Holtz’s dreams of a mythical state championship, the Wolfpack claimed its first win over a Division I-A team in 13 games.
Michigan: After an opening two weeks more disastrous than our ill-fated negotiations with Kiefer Sutherland for a celebrity driving school, the Wolverines have cranked out six consecutive wins and are on target to fulfill our courageous prediction after the Oregon loss that the Wolverines still would win the Big Ten championship.
Florida State: Even before the Seminoles slumped to 1-3 in the ACC with a 37-29 home loss to Miami, Brent Musberger’s favorite “Cowgirl,” Jenn Sterger, dumped the Noles like Shar Jackson to jump on the South Florida bandwagon. You saw how that worked out for the Bulls on Thursday night, but now even FSU’s Chief Osceola and his burning spear are shopping for a new team.
Appalachian State: The Mountaineers’ 30-game home winning streak went up in smoke Saturday in a 38-35 loss to Georgia Southern, dropping ASU to 1-2 in the Southern Conference. Chin up, Appies, you’ll always have Ann Arbor.
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The Old Doll Coach
Gaga over the impact Steve Spurrier has had on South Carolina football, Columbia’s hometown newspaper, The State, last week published a paper-doll likeness of The Visored One for Gamecocks fans to dress in various ensembles.
No doubt the voodoo-doll kismet turned against the South Carolina program when a clueless fan fastened Bear Bryant’s hat atop Spurrier’s doll head, leading to Saturday’s embarrassing, 17-6 home loss to (cough) Vanderbilt.
Please let this serve as a lesson to any copycat editors in the Washington area who were eager to launch their own line of Ralph Friedgen dress-up dolls/action figures.
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Ranking the ACC
1. Boston College: Look out, the Hokies are 13-2 on Thursday nights …
2. Virginia Tech: … and both of those losses are to Boston College.
3. Wake Forest: Riley Skinner or no Riley Skinner, major point deductions for losing to Nebraska.
10. Florida State: Old FSU excuse: The offensive coordinator isn’t good. New FSU excuse: The offense isn’t good.
11. N.C. State: Is there a State fan out there that wouldn’t take a 3-9 season with wins over ECU and UNC?
12. Duke: The final five games might be more difficult than the first seven.
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Coachspeak-to-English translation
“Obviously, we’re hurting again, it’s a very tough ballgame to swallow.”
— Nebraska coach Bill Callahan after Texas A&M thrashed his team, 36-14 — the third straight blowout loss for the Huskers.
Translation: I hope Tom Osborne knows that when I called him a “crusty, old [expletive],” I meant it as a term of endearment. Now if you will excuse me, I need to pick up some change-of-address forms at the post office.
